This season the Browns got a W in the win column much earlier than last year, which made Bitter Chick MC and the rest of us Browns fans feel much better. During the game we also learned of the existence of Peyton Hillis's high school mascot, from Conway High School in Arkansas, the Wampus Cat.
The Wampus Cat is a fictional mascot, a six-legged cat with
"Four to run at the speed of light
And two to fight with all its might."
And apparently, it's blue.
Naturally we at Bitter Orange and Brown and a few of our friends are a bit obsessed with this thing.
"So the cougar-like appearance of this creature has no relevance, right?" said Susan Patton, Regional Editor at Patch.com. "Insert joke here."
Yep, it's relevant. Wampus Cats for Peyton. It's like Grady's Ladies, but with more, um, legs.
I was also reminded of the word "catawampus," which according to dictionary.com means "askew; awry."
Hmmm, do you think? That's one weird, creepy-looking kitty.
Since the Browns don't have cheerleaders, we thought we'd step in, at least on paper, anyway (or cyberspace), and write our cheers and chants in honor of the Wampus Cat.
From Kaye Spector, Associate Regional Editor at Patch.com
"Wampus. Wampus. Wampus. I fell down and bruised my Wampus."
"We've got Wampus, yes we do; we've got Wampus, how 'bout you?"
*shake pompoms here*
From Bitter Kris, aka Kristine Meldrum Denholm
OH THE PLACES THE WAMPUS WILL GO!
From the Places You Will GO, Mr. Hillis:
"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And
you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll
decide where to go."
From Bitter Chick MC, aka Marie Cauley
"Thank you Wampus for Mr. Hillis
For all the ways that man can thrill us
We all must chant this little ditty
To show how much we love this kitty
You are a wonder of creation
Causing talk around the nation
Who would have thought you'd be all that
Even dawgs can love this cat!"
"Wampus light, Wampus bright
The first Wampus Cat I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Defeat the Dolphins* here tonight."
*Insert whichever team you'd like to beat.
"CAMPUS BRATS, SWAMPASS RATS
NOBODY'S BETTER THAN THE WAMPUS CATS!!!!!
GOOOOO IMAGINARY SOUTHERN BACKWOODS
SIX-LIMBED COUGAR THINGS!!!!!!!!"
Feel free to write your own Wampus cheer, chant or poem in the comments.
Alanna Klapp (Bitter AK) hopes she never sees a real live Wampus Cat (it's mythical like Big Foot, you know). Follow her Browns tweets @Bitter_AK, and follow Bitter Orange and Brown on Twitter @BitterOrang.