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Avoidance of Conflict!

Avoidance Of Conflict It is so very important to realize that there is almost always a reason why a person is having panic attacks, intrusive thoughts or obsessive worry with compulsive behaviors.

Avoidance Of Conflict

It is so very important to realize that there is almost always a reason why a person is having panic attacks, intrusive thoughts or obsessive worry with compulsive behaviors.

Certainly, trauma can cause these anxiety symptoms, but I rarely find that among the majority of my clients. Stress can surely add to the symptoms, but most often I have found that stress only aggravates the anxiety symptoms.

What I find in most cases is that personal conflict is typically the source. Whereas stress can come and go, conflict hangs over our heads until we deal with it.

Conflict?

Yes, like feeling trapped in a go-nowhere job but avoiding taking steps to create opportunities to change for fear of failure or rejection.

Maybe feeling stuck in an emotionally, physically or sexually abuse relationship, but avoiding taking steps to remove yourself because of your fears of being alone, or the fear of retaliation.

How many times we want to express ourselves toward someone who is controlling, intrusive or manipulative, but end up avoiding and repressing what we feel.

Key word is avoiding, since avoidance affects how we see ourselves. Avoidance can cause us to feel weak, erodes our self-esteem and leads to our not trusting ourselves.

Of course, when we doubt ourselves, what do we do next? We WHAT IF ourselves and then we avoid!

There is a reason why the more adapting and approval seeking personalities have more anxiety, panic and OCD symptoms. Their need for approval and want to avoid possible rejection or exclusion makes them fair game for the more manipulative people in the world. All you caregivers, conformers, peacekeepers and perfectionists are really good people but you need to learn to set boundaries with people who would  take advantage of your adapting natures.

In future blog articles, I will address some ways for each personality type to make changes so they might feel more in control, and thereby begin to take control of their anxiety symptoms. I look forward to your comments.

Meanwhile, take a look at our blog at www.RuledByFear.com

Gene Benedetto, Psychologist

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Jenny Buderer March 22, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Interesting- I'm lookin forward to reading more to gain some insight into this!
Gene Benedetto March 23, 2012 at 01:09 PM
Jenny, I appreciate that you took the time to comment. I do most of my blogging on weekends since I am usually dealing with clients during the week. However, I wanted you to know I will be addressing issues each week hoping to help you and others gain more insight, and develop a game plan to feel more in control of symptoms, and life. Please take a look at my Blog at www.RuledByFear.com. It may be helpful. Gene Benedetto, Coach Psychologist
Jennifer Woomer March 25, 2012 at 11:54 AM
Good stuff! Enjoyed reading your blog. Looking forward to the next one.

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